The White Lady of Gont
by Annasibs
Summary: A story based on "The Tombs of Atuan." In escaping Atuan, Tenar thought she has finally freed herself from the hold of the Nameless Ones. But there, in the shining towers of Havnor, she finds that even there, shadows lurk.
1. Part I

The White Lady of the Ring  
(fanfic: _Earthsea Trilogy, Volume II: The Tombs of Atuan_)  
by Annasibs

  


Note:  
I am a huge fan of Ursula K. LeGuin. And of all her works that I have already read, nothing has captured me more than _The Earthsea Trilogy_. I wholly fell in love with the characters Ged and Tenar and I wish Ms. LeGuin made the "romance" between them more definite. So, I wrote this fanfic in order to quiet down my wild imagination. I know the fourth Earthsea book, _Tehanu_, deals with the two of them, but I haven't read the book and it isn't available in my country. I still don't have the capability of ordering it online.

All the characters and concepts in this story, except for the existence of Prince Remier, Princess Feliste and Mirai, belong to Ms. LeGuin. I don't have Ms. LeGuin's permission to use them, and I don't think she'll ever grant me that. But if Ms. LeGuin ever gets hold of this fanfic, I hope she would not get angry with me for taking liberties with her characters and her story and sue me for copyright infringement. Instead, I hope she would see it as a homage of an obsessed fan.

I hope you'd like this fanfic. And I also hope it would inspire you to get a-hold of the Earthsea books and see why I fell in love with them.

  
  


Part I: The Return of the Ring

  
  


SHE SAT BY THE WINDOW, waiting to be called to the Great Hall. It seemed as if she had long been waiting, for days at least, in that huge, luxuriously furnished room that was bigger than the room in the house she had left back at Atuan. But in truth, she and her companion had just come from their journey across the wide, wide sea only the day before.

That day was an important day, not only for her, but for all the people of this white, shining city, perhaps for everyone who live in all Earthsea. For that day marked the return of the Ring of Erreth-Akbe, Earthsea's most precious treasure, in its rightful place in the tower of Havnor after centuries of burial in the darkness that was the Tombs of Atuan. That day was also the day when she would finally shed off what remains of her former self and be truly reborn. For she was none other than the Arha-that-was, who died and became Tenar.

And yet, as she sat by the window in that big room, Tenar could not help but feel the fear constantly gnawing at her heart. She tried to keep her hands still by clasping them, but they would not stop trembling. Tenar felt overwhelmed by the brightness of the light surrounding Havnor. She could see that light from her window in that palace that looked over the whole of the city down to the calm, blue-green sea. The light bounced from roof to snow-covered roof and paved the white, snow-covered streets, making them look like diamonds embroidered on a soft cloth of blue and green.

Tenar looked around her, still unaccustomed to the room she was made to use ever since she and Sparrowhawk had come to Havnor. To her, even this room is filled with brightness. The Prince of Havnor had bid them to stay at the New Palace, and Tenar was installed in what seems to have been a princess' room. It was a pink and white room: the draperies, the curtains, the cushions, and the sheets were all in pink and white. The furnishings were made of hard polished wood and ivory and gilded with gold. Unused to such luxuries, even to a soft bed and a wide window, Tenar gave a long sigh. Sparrowhawk was right. The people of Havnor, nobles and peasants alike, received and treated her as if she was a princess.

Tenar knew very well that she was not a princess. She was Arha, the Reborn, the One Priestess of the Nameless Ones that sleep deep within the Tombs of Atuan. Not anymore. An earthquake buried those dark gods and their treasures deep in the darkness of their tombs and reduced their altar to rubble. With them the First Priestess lies dead, and in its body resides a new soul: she, Tenar.

But how could she face the strangers gathered today at the Great Hall? The mages, the nobles, the lords and ladies? She was merely an ordinary person, the one who now only bears the name Tenar.

_Just be yourself, little one. There is nothing to be afraid of. You need not fear these people, for they are not the people of the Priestess Kossil. They are people who love and adore you for the treasure your strength alone have brought them. They will not eat you nor harm you._

Sparrowhawk's words were wise. But at that very moment, even his wise words fail to calm down the storm brewing in her heart. Tenar stood up and tried to walk steadily toward the table with the looking glass.

Ged was right on one thing once more. Because of her creamy white skin, the people of Havnor had taken to calling her the White Lady, or the White One. She had stood out even among the fairest of the ladies gathered to meet her at the prince's palace. Even the pure blackness of her eyes and hair set her apart. They thought her beautiful, but she did not believe them. How could she be beautiful, as beautiful as the princesses who were born and bred under the light, she who had spent all of her life in the dark?

The princesses gave her gifts of lovely dresses, one of which looked like the dress Ged had made for her with magic that night in the Painted Room of the Tombs. But that dress was white instead of turquoise, and she now wore it on that special day. It left her shoulders barely covered with the fine lace netting clasped with a collar around her throat. The bodice squeezed her tightly, although the skirts belled fully about her hips and legs down to her feet, swishing gracefully with her every movement, and the wide sleeves were long enough to cover all but her fingers. Tenar had always thought herself to be thin and straight as a stick, like the Priestess Thar. She did not know that she had a slender figure and a waist that seemed small enough to be spanned by two hands. Tenar did not wear any jewelry save for the rope of tiny pearls woven into her braided hair, and the silver arm-ring of Erreth-Akbe.

The image on the mirror was a lovely vision clothed in splendor. It was a vision Tenar could not recognize nor feel as herself. Tenar only felt the winter cold.

There was a knock her door. Despite the faintness of the sound, Tenar almost jumped in surprise. A moment later, a serving girl entered and bobbed a curtsy to Tenar.

"My lady," said the girl, "my lord the Prince of Havnor says come."

Tenar could understand but the few words Sparrowhawk had taught her of the Hardic tongue. But the girl's nod told her that she was being called. Tenar caressed the silver ring around her right wrist and took a deep breath. Then, she followed the girl.

A great many heads turned to her when she entered the Great Hall. Lined by an aisle covered with a thick red carpet were the grandly-garbed nobles and the great wizards of Earthsea. They all came to witness the simple yet sacred and important event that was the presentation of the Ring of Erreth-Akbe and its return to its shining white tower, the Tower of the Sword. All of them stared at her, she who once could not be looked at. Tenar felt her stomach turn over and something rose to her throat. She knew her face went as pale as her white dress. She wanted to run back to her room but she could not; her legs went numb.

Tenar scanned the room for something familiar and reassuring. But she could not find one. Suddenly, her eyes were pulled to the other end of the aisle, to a red cushion embroidered with golden runes, sitting on top of a marble pedestal. Beside the pedestal stood a wizard also in white, whose dark face bore old scars. Although the face itself looked tired and worn-out, its gentle smile lent her strength and calmed her fears. All at once, Tenar blushed and smiled back at Ged and made her lone procession toward the pedestal.

She went lost again when she reached the pedestal. Not knowing what else to do, she fell on her knees in front of it, bowed her head and took the Ring of Erreth-Akbe off her wrist. Then, with her head still bowed, she held it out in her right hand. Whispering something even Tenar could not hear, Ged took the ring, kissed it and laid it on the embroidered cushion. Afterwards, taking Tenar's small white hands in his, he pulled her up and whispered something in her ear. She did not understand a word. Ged merely grinned at her, squeezed her hands and turned her to face the gathering.

The people started cheering and clapping. It was all over. After hundreds of years in the darkness, the Ring of Erreth-Akbe was finally returned.

  


oOo

  


A FEAST IMMEDIATELY followed the ceremony. As she could not yet comprehend the Hardic language, Tenar kept herself beside Ged. Sparrowhawk smiled at her indulgently and kept her hand at the crook of his arm, patting it once in a while. People came to them occasionally to have a word with her, but Tenar could not understand, so she let Ged make her answers for her. Sometimes there were some who addressed her with varying degrees of fluency in Kargish, to which Tenar herself replied as pleasantly as she could.

The festivities lasted until late that night. Tables remained full of food. There was dancing and singing of deeds of heroes, which Ged gladly translated in Kargish for her. Everyone around them laughed and feasted as if they have not laughed and feasted all their lives. Everyone celebrated the return of the Ring of Erreth-Akbe.

To pass the time, Ged told her stories about some of the mages and nobles gathered there, the adventures and deeds associated with their names. But of his own feats and exploits, Ged said nothing. There were princes who asked her to dance with them, but Tenar politely refused. Ged chuckled at every prince who left their table with a dejected stoop to his shoulders.

"You will be famed in all Earthsea for being beautiful and aloof," he told her. "Why don't you dance with them?"

Tenar was not yet used to being touched and she could not imagine herself being held by a man the way these princes held their dancing partners. But neither would she give Sparrowhawk the pleasure of laughing at her for telling him so.

"Your dances look strange to me," she replied instead.

Sparrowhawk laughed at her all the same. "They do, don't they?"

He glanced at the wide space at the center of the room where couples have begun to regroup. "I think another quadrille is next. If I asked you to dance with me, would you give your consent?"

But that is an entirely different matter. Tenar knew she would do anything for Ged and would not ask for anything in return. Yet, she hesitated and she knew Ged saw her hesitate. He stood up and bowed to her.

"White Lady, may I have this dance?"

Ged was laughing at her. Although his lips did not move, Tenar saw the sparkle in his eyes. The music seemed inviting.

"No, you may not," she replied slyly.

"Please?" Sparrowhawk said softly, entreatingly.

The smile fell from Tenar's face. She shot a diffident glance at the couples gathered at the wide space at the hall's center.

"I--I don't know how to dance this--this quadrille," she stammered. "I'll step all over your toes."

"I wouldn't worry about that, little one," Ged replied. "And I'm sure you can dance as gracefully as any princess in this room."

Tenar wanted to refuse but Sparrowhawk was insistent. She shrugged and let him lead her to the dance floor.

"What do I do?" she asked.

"Just follow me." He laid her left hand on his shoulder and placed both of his around her waist. "Hold your skirts up a little with your right hand so you won't trip on them. And when I let you go, make a curtsy to the man on my right and follow his lead. Do this until all the turns have finished and you are back with me. Did you get them all, little one?"

She nodded and waited for further instructions. Sparrowhawk smiled at her reassuringly.

"All right, here goes!"

Ged waltzed her around the dance floor. At first, Tenar could not follow his lead, but soon enough she felt herself floating and gliding in Ged's arms. Then she lost all awareness of anything except of Ged holding her in his arms. He twirled her round and round. And then, all too soon for her, they stopped and Ged handed her to the man next to him, who bowed most courteously to her.

The dance went on. Tenar shifted from partner to partner, feeling a lightheartedness she had never felt before. For the first time in her many lifetimes, she felt young and carefree.

Tenar curtseyed to her next partner, a tall man with the dark skin of any native of the Inner Lands, but lighter than the rest gathered in the Dining Hall that night. His hair was long, almost as black as hers, and tied at his nape. His face had strong features that were a pleasure to behold, if not for the dark and rakish expression etched there. His silk tunic and leather leggings, as well as the jeweled sword hanging from his hip and the simple gold band around his forehead, bespoke of nobility. When she looked up, her eyes met light brown ones that were laughing down at her.

The man smiled at her, his teeth white and even. "I have caught the beauty of this night at last in my arms."

To Tenar's surprise, the words were spoken in perfect Kargish. But the meaning of the man's words confused her. She blushed. The vivid color that spread across her face made the stranger's smile grow wider.

"My lady knows how to receive compliments."

The man suddenly pulled her body closer against his, knocking the breath out of her. Tenar tried to push him away, but his hold on her was too tight. She missed her footing and almost tripped, but the man's hands held her in check.

He laughed. "You are not falling for me, are you, my lady?"

Tenar bit her lip in annoyance. It was all she could do to keep the words of an old Atuan curse from spilling out of her mouth. She was Priestess no longer. She turned her face away and silently endured the dance until the turn was over.

The next turn was the last one: Ged's. In her relief, Tenar almost ran into his arms like a child. She heard his surprised chuckle.

"You're shivering," said Sparrowhawk. "Are you all right, little one?"

She did not reply. Instead, Tenar leaned her forehead against Ged's shoulder and allowed him to lead her around for the rest of the dance. She did not even hear the music end. The dancers broke into an applause for their partners. Tenar flushed deep red as Ged led her back to their table.

"I told you you can dance as gracefully as any princess in this room," he said, patting her hand. "In fact, even more. You have danced before, haven't you?"

"There were dances that the One Priestess had to perform before the Throne."

"I see."

Tenar felt herself sweat despite the winter chill. Ged ran a hand across her forehead to wipe off some of the moisture there.

"You must be thirsty. Wait here, I'll get you something to drink."

And Ged went off. With him away from her side, Tenar suddenly felt exposed and vulnerable-and cold. Cold despite her sweating face. Tenar stared apprehensively about her, wishing for Sparrowhawk to return soon. But he vanished, as if he cloaked himself with his own magic.

"How unkind of the lord wizard to have left you here all alone!"

The words were spoken in perfect Kargish. Tenar looked up at the voice that interrupted her thoughts and saw light brown eyes smiling down at her.

"I hope my lady has not forgotten me that soon."

The stranger who had danced with her sat down on the chair Sparrowhawk had vacated and stared at Tenar. Tenar saw something in his eyes that she could not name, but it both frightened and irritated her. She frowned and looked away. The man straightened himself.

"I'm sorry for being rude, White Lady, but I just could not help myself from thinking how beautiful you are. And what an injustice it is to leave such a beauty grow lonely. The lord wizard has gone for quite sometime now. Maybe he has already forgotten you."

Tenar's frown grew deeper. Her wish that Ged would come soon became more fervent. The stranger's boldness bothered her. What irked her more was that she could perfectly understand every word he had said. She wanted him to go away.

The stranger looked at her as if he read her mind. "Perhaps I am being excessively rude. I think I should go."

But he made no move to go. Patience wore away from Tenar's face. Where is Ged? she thought. She stood up.

"Excuse me, my lord," Tenar said and she made her way toward a group of mages, where she thought Ged was. However, the stranger grabbed her wrist where the Ring of Erreth-Akbe once was. Tenar gasped.

"You are not to touch me!" she said without thinking and jerked her hand away.

"Oh! I'm sorry, my lady." The man let her hand go, although his expression remained amused instead of repentant. Tenar chose to ignore him and searched the room with her eyes for Ged.

The man sighed and stood up. "All right, I'll go. But I think we'll be seeing more of each other, White Lady of the Ring. By the way, if it interests you to know, I am called Remier."

With that, the man bowed to her and walked away, whistling to himself. As soon as she was sure that the annoying stranger was gone, Tenar sank down to her chair and let out a deep sigh of relief. She thought she had found someone she could understand besides Ged. But it seems she had only found a bothersome cur in a noble's garb.

Ged finally returned with a skein of wine. He filled their winecups and handed her hers. She thanked him and gratefully drank the wine all in one gulp.

"I'm sorry for taking so long, little one," Ged apologized. "There is a great demand for wine in this feast. The guests are bent on getting drunk."

"It's all right."

Ged toyed with his cup before taking a sip. "I saw you talking with Prince Remier."

"Aye. He spoke perfect Kargish. Who is he?"

"Why, little one," Ged said in a soft teasing tone as he refilled her cup. "Prince Remier is the younger brother of our host, the Prince of Havnor." His voice then grew more grave. "As for his speaking perfect Kargish, he has traveled widely and spent a few years exploring the Kargad Lands. I heard he had just returned home when we came."

"Oh."

Tenar took another sip of wine. Although she was not looking at him, Tenar knew that Sparrowhawk was gazing at her. His glance was always gentle, but they pierced, all the same.

"Did he annoy you, little one?"

"Aye," she replied without hesitating.

Sparrowhawk's lips curved slightly in a smile. "Try to keep your patience, White One. We are different from the people you grew up with in Atuan. Soon you'll learn to understand and handle ones such as he."

Tenar clasped her hands around her winecup and bent her head. "Oh, Sparrowhawk, I wish we could go soon to the land of the mountains you always speak of."

Ged reached out and touched her wrist where the arm-ring once was. "Don't worry, little one. It won't be long now. Tomorrow, we shall rest all day. And then we'll sail for Gont early the next morning."

Tenar sighed happily. But when she turned to smile at Ged, her face fell. In the light, never before had she seen Ged so tired and weary. She had never seen those terrible scars look so livid.

  
  


* * *

  


Part I: The Return of the Ring  
Part II: The Shadows Emerge  
Part III: The Shadows Follow Tenar  
Part IV: A Promise is Fulfilled

When the Hawk Flew Home


	2. Part II

The White Lady of the Ring  
(fanfic: _Earthsea Trilogy, Volume II: The Tombs of Atuan_)  
by Annasibs

  
  


Part II: The Shadows Emerge

  
  


THEY WERE NOT ABLE to sail for Gont on the third day, as Ged had promised. For he had finally succumbed to the aftermath of the hardships he had endured as a prisoner of the Tombs of Atuan, and later as a fugitive. He took to his bed but refused to have any sorcerer weave healing spells upon him, deeming them a waste of the Mages' power. The wizards could not do anything but put soothing spells on the patient and let him be.

Taking his illness as a chance to repay his kindness, Tenar employed everything she knew about healing as the First Priestess of the Tombs. She felt responsible for Sparrowhawk's condition and gave her whole soul to nursing him back to health. With the wise mages' consent, she mixed for him herbal concoctions, which she made Ged take directly, or added to his food. She took care of his every need. Sparrowhawk aired no complaints about her nursing, except for the occasional grimace at her medicine's bitter taste.

Despite her inability to fully comprehend the language of the Archipelago, Tenar had befriended the girl that served as her companion in the palace, one that she heard was called a lady's maid. The girl, called Mirai, was the same age as Tenar and reminded her very much of Penthe, her only friend among her fellow priestesses in Atuan. Mirai had Penthe's gentle spirit and dreamy ways, and was plump as well. She also had the bluest eyes Tenar had ever seen, despite her dark Archipelagan coloring. Mirai helped Tenar in nursing Ged, taught her to speak the Hardic tongue and read the common runes in their spare time. In return, Tenar taught Mirai everything she knew about healing and told her stories about her life as Arha, the High Priestess of the Tombs.

Once, while Tenar was trying her hand at embroidery, Mirai asked her what she intended to do, now that she had turned her back on Atuan and came with the lord wizard Sparrowhawk to Havnor. Tenar replied that Sparrowhawk had promised to take her to his homeland Gont when he gets well.

"Why?" Mirai had asked. "Will the lord wizard take my lady as his wife?"

Tenar was taken back by Mirai's question. For a moment, she stared at her with surprise, the hand holding the needle suspended in midair. Tenar then felt herself blushing and looked down at the fine linen held by a wooden frame in her hands.

"Why ever did you ask?" she asked Mirai back.

"Oh, I was merely being curious, my lady," the serving girl replied. Afterwards, Mirai coughed and cleared her throat. "I just cannot imagine my lady living an obscure life, taking care of goats in the mountains of Gont."

At that, Tenar found herself smiling. "Why not? I am merely an ordinary girl, Mirai." To Tenar's consternation, Mirai suddenly laughed. She laughed so hard that her face turned red. She almost bowled over. Tenar stared at her with a puzzled expression until Mirai's laughter subsided into hurried pants.

"I wouldn't say that, if I were you, my lady," she said. "You helped the lord wizard Sparrowhawk steal the Ring of Erreth-Akbe. That's not an easy feat done everyday by ordinary girls. You're not an ordinary girl, my lady. Maybe, my lady, you'd make a good princess."

"Hmm. Maybe so," Tenar shrugged.

But as sudden as her laughter, Mirai's face became very grave. "I just hope, my lady, that you would not be taken by false charm and ardor."

Tenar, in her wonder, silently pondered over the matter.

In her preoccupation, Tenar had almost forgotten the existence of the stranger, Prince Remier. But he would not make her forget. Once in a while, she saw the light-skinned stranger across the hall or in odd corners, watching her pass by with the same dark expression that Tenar could not name. Often he would wink at her and amuse himself with her frowns. Every morning, she would find a white hothouse rose lying outside her bedroom door, but she took no notice of it and left it for Mirai to put away. She was too busy taking care of Ged.

One day, however, Remier cornered her on the landing of the staircase the servants use on their way to the palace kitchens. Tenar had brewed a new batch of medicine for Sparrowhawk, which she then carried in a pitcher to his room. Remier was obviously waiting for her.

"Hullo, White Lady of the Ring," he greeted her in Kargish.

Tenar pursed her lips. "Good day, my lord," she greeted him back coldly, yet politely.

Remier eyed the pitcher she held. "I guess now you're not only the bearer of the legendary Ring of Erreth-Akbe, but nursemaid as well to our lord the mage Sparrowhawk."

Tenar tried to keep her patience in rein. "Will you let me pass, my lord?"

Remier did not seem to hear her and continued to block her way. "Why do you avoid me, White One? Are you afraid of me?"

"Certainly not, my lord."

The prince raised her chin with his finger. Tenar jerked her head and looked away. Remier clacked his tongue.

"I think not."

Tenar took a deep breath to cool down the fire of her heating temper. Then she stared back at the prince.

"My lord--"

"No, my White Lady, I will not let you pass until you give me something which from you I seek."

Tenar smirked. "Very well, my lord. What is it?"

"A kiss."

Before Tenar could do anything, Remier stooped and touched her lips with his own. Shocked, Tenar at once pushed him away and hit him across the face. Then she raised her free hand and made the Atuan sign of averting defilement. Her hand left a vivid red mark on his cheek and a surprised expression in his eyes. Realizing what she had done, Tenar gasped and ran up the flight of stairs to Sparrowhawk's chamber without even pausing to catch her breath.

Ged lay quiet and still, sleeping the deep healing sleep lent him by her concoctions. Even in illness, his face looked stern; his sternness always made her afraid. But there was a gentleness and serenity about him that sickness could not take. It pleased Tenar to gaze at him while he was sleeping; she took strength and comfort from that gentle stillness.

Suddenly, she burst into tears. Tenar sank to her knees beside Sparrowhawk's bed and buried her face in the sheets, so that no one, especially her patient, would hear her sobs.

  


oOo

  


A FEW MORNINGS LATER, Tenar went with a small basin of water to Ged's room and found him awake. The morning sunshine flowing from his window lit up his face and defined his hawklike profile. His illness had made him look wan and feeble, but this morning there was more alertness about him. Tenar set the basin down on the table beside his bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Ged gave her a weak smile.

"Good morning, Ged," she greeted him. "How are you feeling?"

"Not as well as I'd wish to, but well enough. Thanks to you," he replied.

Tenar said nothing. She soaked a small towel in the basin and wrung it.

"The Prince of Havnor and his brother came to see me early today," said Ged, watching her.

"You shouldn't have been disturbed," she replied. She turned to him and began to wash his face and arms.

"Oh, but I wasn't. I woke up quite early, you see." Ged suddenly grinned. "And they took the opportunity of seeing me while you still slept. They were afraid to be eaten by the dragon that is my warden."

Ged chuckled softly while Tenar scowled at him. She stood and picked up the basin.

"Well, then, I guess, I'll keep to my room from now on. I won't come here anymore."

Sparrowhawk burst out laughing as she made for the door. When the laughter became a hoarse cough, Tenar returned to his side and patted his back.

"See?" she scolded him. "I don't think you'd do without me while you're unwell and we're still here in Havnor."

"I'm sorry," he said between coughs. "I was merely teasing you, you know."

Tenar smiled. "I know."

Ged stopped coughing. Tenar resumed washing him, the smile lingering on her face. Ged silently watched her every movement, his expression soft yet strange.

The woolen robes that Tenar donned looked not unlike the garments she wore as Priestess of the Tombs, except that they are dark blue rather than the drab unbecoming black, with a white sash tied around her waist. They covered her arms and throat and reached down to her toes. The collar and sleeves of a white underdress peeked from the collar and the wide sleeves of the blue robe. She wore her long black hair the same way, braided and looped around her head.

And yet, Tenar looked different from the Arha-that-was. While Arha was pale, Tenar had a soft bloom about her cheeks that looked becoming against her white skin. And while the Priestess was stiff and rigid, Tenar's movements were more soft and pliant. Moreover, Tenar now had more flesh in her bones. She was lovelier and more radiant than she had ever been.

Tenar finished washing him and left the towel floating in the basin. Then she took a comb from within the folds of her robes and began to attack the tangles of his hair. She stopped when she saw Ged looking strangely at her.

"What's the matter?" she asked anxiously and felt his cheek and forehead. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong," Ged replied. With some effort, he reached up and pressed the palm of her small hand against his scarred cheek.

"Tenar," he said softly, "you are looking very well. Havnor suits you. I know that you will always be welcome here."

He paused, as if trying to catch his breath. His face became grave.

"Will you still come with me when I come home to Gont?"

Tenar stared at him, puzzled. "Why do you ask? Of course I'll come with you."

"I am not forcing you to come with me. You are free to remain here in Havnor if you wish to."

Tenar frowned. "Do you want me to stay here, Ged?"

"If you want to stay here, Tenar."

Tenar fell silent and continued to stare at Sparrowhawk. His face was grave, but she could not read anything from it. She ran the comb through his hair once more.

"No, I will not stay here. You know that I don't belong here, Ged. Not even the beauty of Havnor would change my mind," she replied.

The graveness of Ged's face broke into a smile. To Tenar, the smile looked like one of relief.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Tenar," he said. "I'm glad you chose to escape with me from Atuan." He turned his face and kissed her palm.

Tenar's lip trembled. She cupped his cheek and ran her fingers against his scars. Then she pulled her hand away, picked up the basin and the comb, and silently left the room.

  


oOo

  


A BASKET OF FLOWERS WAS waiting at Tenar's doorstep when she returned to her room from visiting Ged. Pink, white and crimson roses nestled close against each other within the small basket, giving off a heavy, heady scent that Tenar could smell even as she approached her door. Used to receiving a single white rose every morning, roses which received nothing but a cursory look and given to Mirai to do as she pleases, Tenar found herself smiling at the vivid sight. She also found herself admiring Prince Remier for his persistence, although she abhorred him for his forward and intrusive ways. She knelt down by the basket and ran her finger against the velvet softness of a petal that fell on the floor.

"So that is why Remier is always to be found scouring the gardens and the hothouses early every morning."

Tenar started at the voice behind her. She turned and saw a tall and handsome young girl with the dark Archipelagan coloring standing a short distance away from her. The girl looked older than Tenar. Judging from her pink silk dress, the ethereal veil, the golden band around her forehead and the regal way she held herself, Tenar saw that the girl before her is a princess. She stood up and stared questioningly at her. The young princess approached Tenar.

"I see you don't know me, my lady," she said. "But then, I wouldn't expect you to look down and take notice of ones such as I."

The princess' almost sneering tone bothered Tenar. True, she did not know the person before her, but she did not see anyone in Havnor except for Ged, Mirai, the servants in the kitchen, where Tenar made most of Ged's medicine, and, occasionally, Prince Remier. Tenar preferred being alone and even the Prince of Havnor respected her wish. Had she broken an Archipelagan custom by keeping to herself?

"Forgive me, Princess, but I don't know what you mean," Tenar replied in her halting Hardic.

"I didn't really expect it of you, White Lady of the Ring. After all, you are a foreigner," she snorted, putting stress on the title given to Tenar. "However, everyone here in Havnor now considers you a heroine, as great as Elfarran the Fair, she who wore the Ring of Erreth-Akbe centuries before you were born. If it interests you to know, I am Princess Feliste, cousin to Remier and the Prince of Havnor. I am also Remier's betrothed. I pray thee, White Lady, to stay away from my betrothed."

The princess' cold words struck Tenar. She had not thought that she would meet another person who could hate her as much as the Priestess Kossil did.

"You must be mistaken, Princess," she said. "I did not know that Prince Remier is spoken for. I do not seek the Prince's favors and neither do I wish to take your betrothed from you."

Feliste gave Tenar a contemptuous look. "No, I don't believe you. I could not easily trust a handmaiden of darkness, even if she has brought the Rune of Peace back to Earthsea. For all I know, you are an enchantress who has fooled one of the greatest wizards and dragonlords of the Archipelago and has woven a spell on all of us. Enchantments of evil do not last, White Lady of the Ring."

Tenar was shocked into silence. She stood there, not believing the words she had just heard. Feliste looked down on her.

"Once more I pray thee, keep your wiles from Remier."

Feliste haughtily swished past Tenar and walked away, her veil floating behind her. Tenar watched her go. Forgetting all about the flowers, she then went inside her room and lay face down on her bed.

Moments later, Mirai entered the room with the basket of flowers. The maid's face was flushed with excitement, her plump body shaking with her giggles. She loves flowers and would always be found daydreaming in the gardens.

"Oh, my lady, look what a beautiful present has come for you," said Mirai. "A basket of lovely roses! The hothouse plants must have been picked bald this time. Where shall I place them, my lady?"

"Somewhere where I can't see them," Tenar replied, her pillow muffling her voice. "But why? Such lovely flowers--"

"For them I earned the ire of a princess."

Mirai set the basket down on the table near the window. "Which princess? Princess Feliste? You need not worry about her, my lady. Although she is very much attached to Prince Remier, he would have none of her."

Tenar turned and lay on her back. "But they are betrothed, aren't they?"

Mirai did not reply. Instead, she plucked a rose without thinking and stripped it of its petals. "Aye, they are," she said after a long while.

Tenar sighed and curled on her side. "Well then, matters have settled by themselves, haven't they?"

Mirai stole a look at the young once-priestess and saw a confused storm brewing in the pale, beautiful face.

"Do you think I'm evil, Mirai?" she asked suddenly. "Do you think I am fooling everyone, that the Ring that rests in the Tower of the Sword is merely an illusion I have worked on all of you?"

The flower in Mirai's hand fell to the floor. "Wh-what do you mean, my lady?" Mirai stammered. "I saw the Ring myself, my lady. The wizards of Roke had pronounced it as real. Lord Sparrowhawk held it in his hand and kissed it. How could it be a mere illusion? As for you, my lady, I refuse to entertain the thought that you are evil. You cannot be evil. You brought us back the Ring."

Tenar gave her a vague smile.

"However," Mirai continued, "I hope you'd be careful, my lady. Feliste will stop at nothing to get what she wants and would get rid of anything or anyone that blocks her way. It was even said that she practices sorcery in secret. And no matter how much he denies it, Remier is like her, in more ways than one. Being the Prince of Havnor's only brother, he is much beloved. He always gets what he wants."

"Leave me, Mirai. I wish to be alone."

Mirai, bothered by Tenar's sudden paleness, could not do anything but comply.

  
  


* * *

  


Part I: The Return of the Ring  
Part II: The Shadows Emerge  
Part III: The Shadows Follow Tenar  
Part IV: A Promise is Fulfilled

When the Hawk Flew Home


	3. Part III

The White Lady of the Ring  
(fanfic: _Earthsea Trilogy, Volume II: The Tombs of Atuan_)  
by Annasibs

  
  


Part III: The Shadows Follow Tenar

  
  


THE DAYS THAT FOLLOWED saw a restlessness grow in Tenar. She still kept to herself, seeing only Ged and Mirai, and staying away from places where she might encounter either Remier or Feliste. Sometimes she saw Feliste from her window, wandering with her maids, or when the princess came to visit Sparrowhawk, whose condition was always inquired about, as he was held in high esteem all over Havnor. In those visits, the young princess behaved less haughtily toward Tenar, as if recognizing a status and power higher than her own. Nevertheless, there was a coldness about her that made Tenar shiver. Mirai's words had made her wary. Of Remier, Tenar saw nothing, although flowers still came to her doorstep every morning. Thinking that the flowers upset her charge instead of pleased her, Mirai had taken care not to let Tenar see them anymore, although Tenar was very much aware that they still came.

The restlessness Tenar bore was not borne out of boredom, as she had once thought, but rather of an increasing desire to get out of the palace. She could not bear the thought of not being able to leave her room without feeling that she is watched by invisible human eyes, so like the eyes of the poor soulless creatures doomed in the Painted Room in the Labyrinth of Atuan. Tenar very well knew that the darkness can heighten your terror, knowing that your enemy is somewhere near. You cannot see him but you know he is there, and thus you shall always be on the watch. In the light you can see so many things around you, and yet you can never know for sure who is out to help you and who is out to harm you. Lower your guard and your enemy will strike without your knowing it.

Tenar had left her enemies behind her buried in a faraway island east of Havnor. They could not follow her and harm her now; how can shadows of darkness harm anyone in the light? But the light also poses threats: it can set you blind.

It was clear to Tenar that the Princess Feliste hates her. But she could not understand why. Tenar knows what jealousy is like; she has seen it before among the novices and minor priestesses in Atuan, and in High Priestess Kossil herself. She knows how strong jealousy can be and what it can do when it is strong enough. How strong is Feliste's jealousy? Is it enough to harm her?

The days that followed allowed Tenar to solve these questions. For after her encounter with the princess, the few people that she saw whenever she goes out of her rooms would glance furtively at her and whisper among themselves. At one instance, she saw someone spit on the ground she had tread on. Tenar could not fully understand what they had spoken but she often caught the words "dark soul" and "servant of evil."

At first she ignored the matter, hoping it would go away. But it did not; it grew worse each day. Feliste, perhaps with the magic Mirai claimed she uses, must have somehow made them believe that she is nothing but an enchantress who tricked all of them, even one of the greatest and wisest wizards of Earthsea. It hurt her to realize that the people who had welcomed her to Havnor for the future she sought now abhorred her for the past she left behind. That people, whom she believed were children of the light, possessed a darkness in their spirit. Havnor, to Tenar, is no longer the city of pure bright light as she had thought it before. The light had faded. Not even Mirai, her only believer, could console her hurt.

Tenar hoped she could hide the pain and confusion that she felt whenever she is with Ged. She knew that he would not condemn her, for he knew the whole truth, but she did not want him to lose strength by worrying over her. However, as Ged's strength grew, so did his alertness. His eyes were as sharp and piercing as a hawk; Tenar heartily believes that his eyes could see through her soul.

True enough, Ged had watched her every move as soon as he was able to sit up and noticed the confusion and restlessness growing within her. But, as he was wont to, he never said a word.

He did speak up one afternoon. Tenar had brought her embroidery to Ged's room. She took pleasure in watching him sleep in the afternoon; she always took pleasure and comfort from the fact that one as powerful as he could sleep so soundly like a babe. But not this time, however. Tenar sat by Ged's window, her elbow resting on the sill and her palm cradling her cheek. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. The embroidery frame lay forgotten on her lap.

Ged woke up seeing her thus. He sat up yawning and rubbed his hand over his face. Tenar was so deep in her thoughts that she did not notice her patient rise and lean out of the window in front of her.

"What a pleasure it is to stretch my legs once more," he said. "I think I miss the feel of the ground on my bare feet."

"Sparrowhawk!" Tenar exclaimed. "It is very cold. You should stay in bed if you don't want to catch the cold."

She wiped her face with the back of her hand and moved to stand up, meaning to force him back to bed. But Ged raised a hand to stop her. Tenar sank back on her chair.

"Nay, Tenar, I feel stiff from lying for days," he said. "Don't worry, I feel warm enough."

Ged sat down on the chair facing Tenar and stared at her. Resigned, Tenar sighed and resumed her earlier pose.

"Something is bothering you," Ged suddenly said. "Methinks, the sooner we leave Havnor the better it would be for you."

Tenar did not reply. She went on staring yet unseeing outside the window. Ged seemed unsatisfied with her silence. He stood up before her and touched her arm.

"What's wrong, little one?" he coaxed her gently.

Tenar slowly raised her head from her arms and looked up to face him. Her eyes were full of tears. Then, she burst out crying, her beautiful face distorted by anguish.

"I am not evil, am I, Ged? Please tell me I am not evil!"

Ged gathered her in his arms. "Hush now, little one. You are not evil. You can't be evil. We know that, don't we?"

"The darkness has followed me from Atuan," Tenar sobbed against the rough cloth of Ged's shirt. "It will follow me wherever I go."

Ged's face darkened for a moment, as if reminded of a painful past. But his face at once cleared, as if nothing happened.

"No, Tenar, you don't have a dark shadow following you. Believe me, little one. You are free. A darkness exists in every man, it is true. But as long as your will remains strong, it will never harm you again."

Tenar said nothing. She cried for a long time, releasing all the hurt and confusion that had plagued her from the time she had set eyes on Princess Feliste. Ged held her and let her cling to him, as if she was drowning and he was the only thing she found she could float on.

After a while, her sobs died. Slowly, she disengaged herself from Ged's embrace and sank back to her chair. Ged did the same. Tenar picked the embroidery frame that fell on the floor from her lap and made a few stitches. But she had already lost heart in the task and replaced the frame in the sewing basket lying beside her chair. Both of them sat still, the silence punctuated by occasional sniffs from Tenar.

"Ged, what will I do in Gont?" she suddenly asked of him.

Ged smiled at her. "What will you do in Gont? What do you wish to do in Gont?"

"I don't know."

The silence resumed. Tenar leaned her head once more on the windowsill while Ged continued to regard her thoughtfully. After a long time, she turned back to him.

"Can I be a prentice sorcerer, Ged?"

"If you wish to. You are wise enough to control power."

"I'm not certain I can," she replied. Suddenly, she smiled through her tears. "You know, Mirai once told me that I'd make a good princess. What do princesses really do, Ged?"

"Nothing much. In fact, they live ordinary lives like most of us. They try to be dutiful daughters. When they marry, they take care of their families, like ordinary mothers, like ordinary wives."

"I cannot remember my own mother. All I can recall is a voice and a fire on a hearth. Ged, can I raise a family of my own?"

Ged was slow to answer. "Tenar," he said after a long while, "you can do anything you wish when we get to Gont. There you can find peace and silence. No one can harm you there. Later, if you wish to leave, you may do so and I won't stop you. But whatever you do, my promise still stands. Call me if you need me, and I will come to you. Even from my grave, I will come to you. I made you that promise before, remember? You can always count on that."

"If peace and silence lies in Gont," Tenar replied, "I will stay there and I will never leave it. That is one thing I am sure to do."

Ged smiled at her tenderly as he reached out and wiped away the tears from her face.

  


oOo

  


GED SOON FULLY RECOVERED his strength. As he told Tenar, he did miss the feel of the ground on his bare feet. As soon as he could, he began to spend most of his time outdoors, engaging other young men in games of sport, gearing for the journey he and Tenar would soon make for Gont. Tenar found herself with more time in her hands, which she often spent wandering in the gardens or combing the beach with Mirai. Sometimes, Ged went with them, keeping the conversation in Hardic so that Tenar would gain more fluency of the language and Mirai would not shy out of talking. Ged also augmented the lessons Mirai gave Tenar in reading runes.

One afternoon when Ged was not with them, Tenar and Mirai spent most of the day in a fishing village near the New Palace, talking with the housewives, helping with their chores and playing with their children. They have taken easily to the white-skinned young lady who spoke their language in a strange, stilted way. Tenar found the villagers unspoiled, for they have not received the poison-dust Feliste had scattered to the winds of Havnor. To them, she was not a former Priestess, nor the bearer of the Ring, but merely a friendly stranger.

Late that afternoon, on their way back to the palace, Tenar and Mirai found Prince Remier sitting on the steps of the kitchen entrance, which they use when going out. The prince stood up upon seeing them. Tenar could see that the dark expression on Remier's face had grown darker than before.

"Good afternoon, ladies," he greeted them. "White Lady, may I have a word with you?"

Tenar stole a glance at Mirai, who bowed her head and stepped behind her mistress.

"What is it that you need to speak of, my lord?" Tenar replied.

"I can't say it until I am sure that we are alone."

Mirai curtseyed and made for the palace kitchen, leaving Tenar and the prince standing alone in the courtyard. Tenar watched the maid go with her face devoid of expression, concealing the apprehension she felt within. She turned to the prince.

"Very well, my lord. What is it that you have to say?"

But instead of speaking, Remier stood there rubbing his chin and staring at her, a tiny smile playing on his face. Tenar's apprehension turned to annoyance. Then, after a few moments, the smile on the prince's face faded. Remier cleared his throat.

"White One," he said, "when will the lord mage sail for Gont?"

Tenar sighed irritably. "In three days, my lord."

"Ah, so soon. And, shall you come with him?"

"But of course, my lord."

Again, Remier fell silent and thoughtfully regarded her. Tenar could feel the tiny hairs at the back of her neck stand up under his stare. She wished the prince would talk soon so that she could return to her chamber.

"My lord, I am cold--"

"You are cold? Well then, allow me to warm you, White One."

Remier reached for her hands and grasped them before Tenar could pull them away. Tenar struggled to free herself but the prince's hands were holding hers too tightly.

"Prince Remier, let me go!"

"I wish I could, White Lady."

Remier's grip on her hands grew tighter. Tenar winced in pain.

"My lord," she cried, "please leave me be. I have not wronged you. Why won't you leave me in peace?"

"Because you never leave me any peace, White One."

Remier suddenly released her and turned away. Caressing her swollen hands, Tenar ran towards the kitchen entrance, her long braids flying behind her.

"White Lady! Don't leave me yet!" Remier called. "I haven't said what I needed to speak!"

Tenar stopped running but did not return to him. Remier walked towards her and reached for her hands once more, but she pushed them within her cloak and glared at him. Her face was hard and stubborn. The prince let his arms fall to his sides and sighed.

"Very well, I shan't keep you any further. I have a great favor to ask of you." Tenar frowned at him questioningly. To her surprise, the prince fell on one knee before her and bowed.

"White Lady," he said, "will you stay here in Havnor and be my wife?"

"Wh-what?" Tenar stammered in disbelief.

Remier stood up and lay his hands on her shoulders. Tenar could see ardent longing clearly etched on the prince's handsome face. But in a corner of his eye, she caught a glimpse of something she could not understand. She stepped away from him.

"White Lady, White Lady," cried Remier, extending his palms toward her, "I beg of you, don't look at me like that! Please, White Lady, stay in Havnor and be my wife. You shall be a princess, showered with riches, adored by everyone, with power resting at the palm of your lovely white hand. I will make you happy, I promise, as long as you would stay and be my wife."

"But you are already spoken for, my lord. You can't promise me something you have already promised someone else," Tenar replied.

"What do you mean? Feliste? She does not mean anything to me. Believe me, White One. My cousin is adorable, of course, but that is all there is. White Lady, it is you that I desire as my princess. It is you that I love."

Tenar stared at Remier, her eyes wide with bewilderment. Love. The prince has finally confessed to loving her. But what kind of love does he profess? Tenar had known only one kind of love in her whole life, in her many lifetimes. The warmth of her old guardian Manan's embrace, and the vague memory of a hearth and a voice calling her home. Where is the warmth of Remier's love? Tenar could not feel it.

"White Lady," Remier was saying, "please say that you love me. Please say you'll be my wife. I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to make you happy."

A vision of herself appeared in Tenar's mind. A lovely, misty vision of silks and satins, of velvets, crowns and jewels, a life of ease and plenty, of people bowing and curtseying and kissing her hand, obeying her whims and listening to what she has to say, of the power to do as she pleases. A princess, mistress of a castle and of a kingdom. What a beautiful life it could be.

And yet, was it not power she had left behind back in Atuan? Was she not Arha the Reborn, the highest of the High Priestesses in all Kargad? All the novices, the priestesses, the eunuchs and the guards of the Place of the Tombs went down on one knee at her approach and called her mistress. The holiest of all the holy rites were for her to perform. Power had lain in her hands; the High Priestess Kossil tried to kill her because of that power. For all that power, she never felt peace in that sacred ground in the middle of the desert in Atuan.

Tenar knew that life in Havnor as Remier's wife would be a life similar to the life she turned her back on as First Priestess of the Tombs. She would never be happy in a palace where, for all its shining exterior, dark corners exist, wherein shadows lie lurking, in forms as beautiful as that of Princess Feliste. It will be dark prison with a golden door.

When was the first time she felt truly happy? Tenar felt her mind return to a time so long ago, a lifetime ago, back on the cold mountains west of Atuan. At that moment, as if she never left, she could smell the scent of trees she did not even know exist, drifting on the fresh winter wind blowing at her hair. At that moment, she watched birds flying above the woods around her, their song blending with the melody of the stream flowing down from the mountain peak. Life was hard then, with only dry bread and nuts stolen from a squirrel's hoard for food, dirty rags for protection against the winter cold, and the hard ground to sleep on. But at that time, Tenar felt that a kind of sweetness she had never known before. A sweetness that had coursed through her body and penetrated her soul. At that time in the Western Mountains, Tenar discovered two things important to life: peace and freedom. She will never give it up again.

Suddenly, as if she had wakened from a very long and very deep sleep, Tenar's eyes opened to a great truth in her life. She cannot swear love and loyalty to Remier, not now, not ever. For though she had just realized it, she had already given her vow to someone else, the one who had rescued her once from the depths of darkness. She felt no regrets and would not turn back.

Remier stood before her, waiting for her answer. Tenar took a deep breath. She had nothing else to say.

"Prince Remier," she began, "I am sorry, but I cannot do as you say. I am not the suitable wife for you. My lord, I do not belong here in Havnor. I seek freedom from the darkness of Atuan and I have not found it yet, even in this your shining city. I will never be happy here; neither can you stay happy with me. Keep your promise to Princess Feliste. She will appreciate your gift more than I ever could."

Tenar expected the prince to accept her word graciously and go. But Remier remained standing there before her. Gone was the look of the ardent lover wooing his bride. In its stead was the blackest scowl Tenar had not seen for a long time. Remier grabbed her shoulders and gave them a violent shaking.

"How could you say such a thing!" Remier growled. "How could you refuse such an honor I never have offered voluntarily to anyone else?"

"I was merely being truthful!" Tenar gasped. "My lord, you're hurting me!"

Remier suddenly released her and watched her fall on a crumpled heap at his feet. With much effort, Tenar sat up and rubbed her own shoulders, wincing in pain as she did.

"Priestess!" Remier spat. "No one has ever dared refuse me in my entire life. I'll have you yet, I swear that!"

He stormed away, leaving Tenar on the ground, writhing in anger, in indignation, and in fear.

Dusk had fallen. Darkness had already spread itself like a blanket on the palace gardens. As Tenar rose to her feet, from the corner of her eye she saw, as fast as the wind itself, an ethereal veil flying in the air from behind one of the decorative marble pillars in the garden, to the shadowy regions beyond.

  
  


* * *

  


Part I: The Return of the Ring  
Part II: The Shadows Emerge  
Part III: The Shadows Follow Tenar  
Part IV: A Promise is Fulfilled

When the Hawk Flew Home


	4. Part IV

The White Lady of the Ring  
(fanfic: _Earthsea Trilogy, Volume II: The Tombs of Atuan_)  
by Annasibs

  
  


Part IV: A Promise is Fulfilled

  
  


DESPITE HIS THREAT, REMIER did not bother Tenar in the days that followed. Princess Feliste stayed out of the way as well. Nevertheless, Tenar kept a watchful eye, not leaving her chamber unless necessary, and keeping Mirai always by her side. Tenar could not contain her fears although she believed that Remier could not truly harm her. She never voiced her thoughts to Mirai nor to Ged, but she could tell from Mirai's perceptive gaze that the maid knew more than she was told and was watching as well. Tenar felt that she had gained a true friend in Mirai.

On her last day in Havnor, Tenar and Mirai paid a visit to the Ring of Erreth-Akbe in the Tower of the Sword. The Ring lay on its place of honor, on the red cushion with the golden runes, enclosed in a glass box atop a marble altar. Mirai sat waiting on a bench near the doorway while Tenar stood by the altar, gazing reverently at the Ring.

_I was once the First Priestess of the Nameless Ones, in the Labyrinth of Atuan, Tenar thought. I was a servant of Darkness, of Powers that had lived longer than time. But now, I am nothing but a fugitive from my shadowy past. O Lord Erreth-Akbe, I know not who you are nor what deeds you have done, but the natives of the Inner Lands with whom I have sought shelter regard you reverently as the greatest wizard and dragonlord that ever lived. I pray that, with this Ring that Ged and I brought back from the darkness of Atuan to the heart of Earthsea, I would find happiness and peace from the evils that haunt me. I hope you could hear me._

The silver waves carved on the Ring caught the bright morning sunlight, the shine almost blinding. Tenar shielded her eyes. When the light faded, she bid her farewell to the Ring and left the Tower of the Sword with Mirai.

That night, sleep would not come to Tenar. She lay awake on her soft bed in that pink-and-white chamber that must have belonged to a princess, stirring with emotions she could not describe. She could not put to words even to herself the excitement that she felt, that in but a few hours, she and Ged will finally sail forth on his Lookfar and head for Gont. Finally, she can turn her back on the darkness of her past, of the petty intrigues embroiled by mistrustful entities, of men and their thwarted desires, and live the quiet life in Ged's homeland. Tomorrow, when the red patched sail is hoisted up on Lookfar, she shall be truly free.

The thought of freedom made Tenar sigh and lulled her into half-sleep. However, she had not yet closed her eyes long when she heard a soft yet frantic knock on her door. She stirred and opened her eyes. The knocking would not cease. Soon, someone began to call from the outside.

"White Lady! White Lady! Open your door, I beg of you, White Lady!"

"Mirai?" Tenar sat up.

"White Lady!"

Tenar lit the candle on the table beside her bed and threw a heavy shawl around her shoulders. Then she rose from her bed and slightly opened the door. Mirai stood there on the other side.

"What's the matter, Mirai?" Tenar asked.

Despite the candlelight, Tenar could not see much in the darkness. But she could clearly see Mirai's bright blue eyes, gleaming glassily in the dark. The maid's lips were trembling.

Tenar frowned. "What's wrong, Mirai? Did something happen?" she asked in a gentle tone.

Mirai blinked at the sound of her voice. The glassy look was suddenly gone and was replaced by fright.

"Bolt your door, my lady! Bolt your door!"

The seconds that followed went swiftly for Tenar. The next thing she knew, Mirai was down on the floor, the color seeping from her face. The candle in Tenar's hand dropped on the floor and extinguished itself. Tenar fell on her knees beside the maid.

"Mirai!"

"Leave her be, White One!"

Someone grabbed Tenar's long loosened hair and savagely pulled her up from the floor. She cried out.

"Didn't I tell you, my lady, that no one has ever dared refuse me in my entire life?" a familiar voice said softly, coldly in the dark. "Now, you shall pay the price for daring."

Tenar tried to scream for help, but no sound escaped her dry lips. She looked down and saw a thin dagger thrust at her neck, its slender point barely touching the skin of her throat. It glinted dully in the dark. The scream died into silence.

She was pulled inside her room by her hair and thrown on her bed. Her breath was knocked out of her lungs. The door shut and its bolt clicked. A tall shadow then loomed ominously before her. She looked up and gasped.

"Remier!"

"In the flesh, White Lady, in the flesh. If you don't believe me, you shall soon see."

Tenar's heart froze. With frightened eyes, she saw crazed darkness playing wildly on Remier's face. His lips were parted in a leering grin and his eyes were gleaming with evil. Remier pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a tough, well-exercised body, and climbed on the bed beside Tenar. His sweat glistened in the darkness, the smell coming sharply up to her nose. Tenar cowered in fear.

"What's the matter, my lady? Do you fear defilement?" Remier sneered at her. "Oh, I know about the customs and traditions observed in the Place of the Tombs, although I have never been there myself. The First Priestess cannot be touched in any way by any man, for she should be kept pure for the Nameless Ones she serves. In my thinking, why bother? Purity could not mean so much for servants of evil."

Remier crawled slowly towards Tenar, still grasping the dagger in one hand. She tried to flee but was pulled by the hair once more. Remier pinned her beneath him.

"You cannot escape me any longer, White One. Stop struggling so. Ease yourself and enjoy it. After all, didn't I tell you that I'll make you happy?"

Remier reached out and lay the dagger on the side of the table where Tenar could not snatch it. There was a clink of metal against hard polished wood. Tenar heard the tearing of fabric and felt hot, moist hands against her skin. She could not breathe; the weight on her was too heavy. Desperately, her mind sought means of escaping, but she could not find one. She felt trapped and helpless; her wrists were held in a tight grasp and her legs were pinned under Remier's bulk. She bit her lip as tears coursed down from her eyes. Remier raised his head from the curve of her neck and saw the tears fall.

"Tears! Tears? And here I am expecting magic. Where is your magic, Priestess? Aren't you an enchantress who, with your dark power, pulled the wool over the eyes of a wizard from Roke, the Isle of the Wise, and fooled us into believing that we owe you for the return of Erreth-Akbe's Ring? Hah! But the Ring nestling on its blessed altar in the Tower of the Sword is no ring at all. Just illusion! Come on, show me your power, Priestess. Push me away with magic! Paralyze me with a spell!"

"You are wrong!" Tenar gasped out. "You are wrong!"

Remier sat up and gazed mockingly at her, taking delight on her rumpled and disheveled appearance. "What is it? You have no power? Why, that's unbelievable! I see that you are nothing but the mage Sparrowhawk's toy!"

Searing anger slowly replaced Tenar's fear. "I am not anyone's toy!"

"Come now," Remier replied, lowering his head once more to Tenar. "That's no mystery. Sparrowhawk must have enjoyed your favors many times before. If you allowed him that, then you can bestow the same favor on me. You are a Priestess of the dark after all."

Flashes of red exploded in Tenar's mind. Blinded by rage, she pulled her hand free and grabbed the brass candlestick standing on the table beside the bed and lashed it out towards her assaulter. It hit Remier squarely on the side of his face. He fell heavily on his side without any consciousness, blood beginning to trickle from a cut on his temple down to the sheets.

Tenar gasped in shock and dropped the candlestick. She gathered her torn dress about her and wrapped herself once more in her shawl. Half-blinded with tears, she fumbled with the bolt of her door. When the lock gave in, she ran outside and stumbled on Mirai's body. She knelt over Mirai and tried to shake her awake.

"Oh, Mirai! Wake up, Mirai!"

Tenar placed cold, trembling fingers on the maid's neck and felt for the pulse.

"Mirai! Mirai! Please don't be dead, Mirai!"

The pulse came faintly. Tenar smiled through her tears.

"Wait for me, Mirai. Please! I'll call for help."

Tenar made for Ged's room at the other end of the hallway, all the while crying for help. She raised her fists to bang them against Ged's door. As her hands touched the heavy, wooden door, bolts of blue light emanated from the wood and enveloped Tenar's hands. She screamed in excruciating pain and saw her white hands turn into the color of forged metal: hot, burning red. She slumped on the floor sobbing, powerless to do anything, even to cradle her seared hands. A laugh rang joyously from behind her.

"How do you like my magic trick, White Lady?"

Tenar turned and saw Feliste gliding towards her, her straight black gown blending with the shadows. In the dark, Feliste's face glowed with triumph. Tenar sniffed and eyed her dully. She could not feel anything anymore.

"What have you done, Feliste?"

Feliste shot her a contemptuous look. "I have sealed the mage's room. He is sound asleep, unaware of what is going on outside his own door. He will not hear your cries, nor will any in this palace, except for myself."

"What do you want with me, Feliste?"

Feliste tittered. "What a question to ask, White Lady of the Ring. The answer, however, is simple enough: I want you gone from Earthsea. I want you dead."

"Why? I have done my best to keep out of your way. What wrong have I done you?"

Laughter echoed through the darkness of the hallway, contorting Feliste's face and magnifying the wickedness of her soul.

"What wrong have you done me? What wrong have you done to me?" Feliste's laughter rang hysterically. "Oh, Priestess, don't feign innocence. It does not suit you. I'm sure you know very well that with your very presence, you have wronged me."

Feliste began to glide around Tenar. Soon, Tenar felt her strength ebb. She grew weaker and weaker with every word Feliste uttered.

"I am the Princess Feliste, cousin to the Prince of Havnor, as well as future wife to his brother Remier. Before you ever came to this island, Priestess, I was the most adored woman here in Havnor, second only to the Prince of Havnor's wife. Everyone admired me, everyone loved me. For the people of Havnor, I was a treasure, a rare jewel."

Tenar's head began to swim. Everything before her seemed to fade into a blur. She blinked her eyes, but still, she could not see clearly anymore.

"And then you came, bringing nothing except your rags and the Ring of Erreth-Akbe. Everyone rejoiced and welcomed you with open arms, cheering you and praising you and calling you the White Lady of the Ring, breathing the name as if it was a blessing. It is as if Elfarran the Fair herself has returned to life and chose to grace the island of Havnor with her presence as she had long ago. You, with your white skin and alarming youth, cast everyone into the shadows, including the Princess of Havnor."

A coldness began to seep into Tenar's bones. She began to shake and shiver. Her shawl slipped from her shoulders, exposing the skin Remier made bare. With great effort, Tenar curled on the floor and wrapped her arms around herself, taking care not to touch her hands' burnt skin.

"Of course at first, I didn't mind. The mage who brought you here made it clear that he will take you to Gont with him after the return of the Ring. Whether he makes you his wife or what does not matter, as long as you do not stay in Havnor for good. But my stupid cousin Remier suddenly had to be taken by your charms and break our engagement to have you as his wife. That I greatly mind. Now, it is not enough for you to get out of Havnor; you must disappear from Earthsea. As long as you live, Remier will not stop until he has you within his grasp. I cannot live with that, Priestess."

Every word Feliste spoke squeezed Tenar's heart, filling it with immense pain. She could not breathe. With her weakened vision, she saw Feliste raise her hands. Then she sang an eerie song. As Feliste chanted cold, frightful, painful words, a black fire slowly enveloped her whole being. Strong wind began to blow from nowhere, tearing at Feliste's hair and veil. Tenar shielded her face with her arms.

"You must die, Priestess! You must die!"

Feliste shrieked and threw her arms out to the wind. With a wave of her hands, Tenar was raised from the floor and hurled against the wall. She fell into a heap on the floor. The impact knocked the breath out of Tenar and deadened her senses. She could not move.

_Am I going to die?_ Tenar thought weakly. _Perhaps it is better to die. If I can't escape the evil of my past, then I might as well die. I have no strength to fight it anymore._

Call me if you need me, and I will come to you. Even from my grave, I will come to you. I made you that promise before, remember? You can always count on that.

Tenar heard Ged's words as if he was there beside her, whispering the promise in her ear. Hope began to stir in her heart. Will his promise hold true?

_Ged! Please help me! I cannot fight the darkness on my own._

The door to his room remained shut, sealed by Feliste's magic. Tenar's flame of hope died. She saw Feliste gliding towards her, her face glowing with exultation. Closing her eyes, Tenar resigned herself to the inevitable. Feliste had already won.

Feliste's scream, however, forced Tenar's eyes open. Feliste no longer glided and was crouching near her with her back towards her, a hand shielding her eyes. A blinding light spread across the dark hallway, flooding the place with brightness. Tenar closed her eyes once more.

The next thing Tenar felt was the warmth of a kiss on her burnt hands. The touch did not hurt; instead, the tingling pain slowly ebbed and faded. She heard her name, her true name, whispered heavily as she felt strong, steady hands lift her and press her against a warm, solid chest, with its strong, steady heartbeat. When Tenar slightly opened her eyes, she saw a face bent so close to her own. She could not see the features of the face except for long old scars down a cheek. She reached up to touch those scars.

_He kept his promise. . . . He kept his promise._

The shadow that held her sighed with relief and pressed gentle lips against her own. In that kiss, Tenar felt the specter of death vanish along with her fears; the shadow that held her made them all go away. Restful silence then began to sing her a soft lullaby. The last thing Tenar knew, when she closed her eyes to sleep, was that her lips had curved into a smile.

  


oOo

  


THE FIRST THING SHE saw upon waking up was the clear cloudless sky. The early morning sun painted streaks of gold on a cloth of bright brilliant blue, creating a picture of perfect peace and silence. The sea on which they floated sang soft, cheerful songs and sent small waves tugging playfully at Lookfar's sides. She smiled and stretched her arms lazily, taking note of the whiteness of her hands. The burnt skin had completely peeled off.

Her companion did not hear her stir. She found him sitting, unmoving and unseeing, against the mast. The sunlight shone strongly on his dark, scarred face. Although his body was there with her, his spirit was somewhere else, in a place only he knows and only he could go. She was already used to these moments of utter silence. She knew that she will never be able to follow him there, wherever it is that his soul flies to.

The two of them have been sailing on Lookfar for two days now, using the wind of the world to guide the boat's red patched sail. The Isle of Havnor is now far behind them; the shadows they left suffering in their own guilt. The Ring of Erreth-Akbe exacted its own punishment and the Prince of Havnor vowed to carry out the Ring's will. The punishment was for Remier and Feliste to remember every moment they have succumbed to the darkness and to silently bear the weight of shame on their souls.

Tenar sat up quietly and patiently waited for Ged's spirit to come home. Soon enough, Ged turned and looked at her as if he has never seen her before. The look on his face was something she was familiar with by now: calm and serene, but full of terrible pain. The pain then cleared and went away.

"Tenar," he smiled at her as he uttered her name.

Tenar moved to curl up beside him and leaned her head against his shoulder. She felt Ged's arm move so that it rested around her and his head on hers. They sat in silence for what seemed to be a very long while.

Whatever fears and misgivings Tenar had when she first stepped on the soil of Havnor, they all vanished the very moment the magewind steered Lookfar away from its shores. For the first time in her life, true peace settled within her soul. The kind of peace no one would ever be able to give her, save the one man who can.

After a long while, Ged spoke up. "You are happy, aren't you, little one?" he asked her.

Tenar did not reply. She just sat there beside him, a half-smile playing on her face. Ged dropped a kiss on her forehead and smoothed back her loose hair that flowed like a black stream down her back.

Tenar knew that this wise silent man who held her at that moment, who saved her from the darkness for a chance to be reborn, could not hold her that way forever. For this man had a calling; he cannot stay in any place for long. But as long as both of them lived, Tenar was sure that wherever he went, her image would never fade from his mind. That wherever he is, she could rely on him to come to her when she needed him, that the thing they shared which he called trust and other names would never die.

For Tenar, those things are more than enough. For them, Tenar would be more than happy.

  
  


November 17, 1997

  
  


* * *

  


Part I: The Return of the Ring  
Part II: The Shadows Emerge  
Part III: The Shadows Follow Tenar  
Part IV: A Promise is Fulfilled

When the Hawk Flew Home


End file.
